It's a good thing I didn't post my picks last week. They were bad! And I'd like to find people who did well with them. It was a crazy week. The Steelers got crushed, the Buffalo Bills crushed the Kansas City Chiefs, Jay Cutler outplayed Matt Ryan, Tony Romo choked a game away (OK, that one was predictable.) and there were actually highlights of Ted Ginn Jr.
This week, I still don't know what's going on. It could be ugly, but that's no excuse not to put the picks out there and see how awesome or terrible I am. The home teams are in Caps.
Chicago (+6.5) over NEW ORLEANS: The Bears don't have the offense that the Green Bay Packers do. I'm pretty sure nobody in the NFL does, and that includes New England. But the Saints' defense was terrible last Thursday. The Bears will be able to keep this close because that Saints D won't make stops.
Kansas City (+8) over DETROIT: That's too many point or me to give Detroit in Week 2. They had a great win in Week 1, but I'm not sure they can do it again.
NEW YORK JETS (-9) over Jacksonville: Luke McCown versus one of the bets defenses in the league. Blaine Gabbert could be starting in Week 3 for the Jags.
Oakland (+3) over BUFFALO: One of these teams is going to start 0-2. Scary.
WASHINGTON (-3.5) over Arizona: The Arizona secondary is terrble. Even Rex Grossman is going to be able to pick them apart. I can't believe I just typed that last sentence. Any chance we can get Dennis Green to coach the Cardinals again for this one for old time's sake? Please?
Baltimore (-6) over TENNESSEE: Matt Hasselbeck is going to be killed. Glad I just picked him up in a fantasy league. Balls.
PITTSBURGH (-14) over Seattle: The Steelers are going to take all their frustrations from last week's game, and the proceeding week's media coverage asking if they are too old, on Tavaris Jackson and the Seahawks. Seattle will be lucky to get 150 yards of total offense.
Green Bay (-10) over CAROLINA: Let's see what happens when Cam Newton faces a secondary with talent and speed.
Tampa Bay (+3) over MINNESOTA: Maybe the most confusing line of the week. The Vikings' offense was atrocious last week against the Chargers. It pains me to say it, but Donovan McNabb could be done as a viable starting quarterback in the NFL.
INDIANAPLOIS (+2) over Cleveland: The Browns lost to the Bengals. I can't pick them.
Dallas (-3) over SAN FRANCISCO: Unless Romo plays special teams for the Cowboys, Dallas won't have any problems winning this game.
Houston (-3) over MIAMI: What are the chances Chad Henne has two solid weeks in a row?
San Diego (+7) over NEW ENGLAND: Chad Henne put up big numbers against the tiny Pats secondary. As good as Tom Brady was, the Dolphins could have won this game if they made clutch plays. Phillip Rivers and his receivers are going to have monster days.
DENVER (-3.5) over Cincinnati: Who cares?
Philadelphia (-2.5) over ATLANTA: Teams should be absolutely terrified to play the Eagles on turf. When their offense is on the field, they probably have the fastest four players on the field. It doesn't matter that the offensive line blows because there are so many options for Michael Vick. By the way, Philly fans over here have been saying all week how well they thought the offensive line played last week. They must have watched a different game than I did. The game I saw featured an offensive line that was consistently beat and then bailed out by Vick's legs. There is no way he survives 16 games with the line playing the way it is.
NEW YORK GIANTS (-6) over St. Louis: I'm going to be honest, I probably won't even bother watching this game. It just won't be fun.
The Who - Can't Explain