Tuesday, July 21, 2009

Swan 2, hobos 0

I would like to share a phone conversation I had with my best friend a few weeks ago. He will be referred to as Swan to protect his identity. It is also the name of the main character of "The Warriors." An older flick that shows what it's really like to be in a New York City gang. Watch it, love it and thank me later.

It was the middle of the work day, so receiving a call from Swan seemed odd to me. But I was so happy he called. It might not be word for word, but you will get the idea.

Swan: Dude. I did it again?
Me: You killed a prostitute?
Swan: What? No. I've never done that!
Me: Worth a shot. What did you do?
Swan: I was walking downtown with some of my coworkers and not looking where I was going. Then I booted a homeless man's cup of change.
Me: No way! Again?
Swan: Yeah! We were just talking, and then the next thing I know is a cup of change is flying through the air.
Me: Wow. What do you have against homeless people?
Swan: It was an accident!
Me: Was he pissed?
Swan: No, he was cool about it and I helped him pick it all up.
Me: That was nice of you. Did you give him anything?
Swan: All I had was a twenty.
Me: (Just laughing.)
Swan: My coworkers were laughing pretty hard. Then I told them it wasn't the first time.
Me: (Laughing too hard to respond.)
Swan: I have to go. I figured I had to tell you.
Me: Thank you for making my day.

The other time Swan kicked over a cup of change was at a Pittsburgh Penguins game several years ago. A group of us were walking around the the arena and when we turned a corner, Swan struck.

Swan tried helping the man pick up the change, but he was not happy. He might have thought Swan was trying to steal the change, or he was just really angry. So he started chasing Swan. Meanwhile, me and another friend were about 50 yards in front of Swan and not looking back. We knew something was up, but we did not want to get involved or chased!

We are good friends.

Police On My Back - The Clash


  1. Am I allowed to call him swan now? When you decide to write articles like this, can we have a readers choice day where you write on an article of our choosing? I have some good ideas for some. You can put it into a poll that we vote on. Think about it.

  2. I'll have to look into creating polls. I am open to any ideas anyone has for me.

    If you call the person in question Swan, I think you must be prepared to get tackled. Just my opinion, but you're free to try.