Wednesday, March 17, 2010

My Tiger conspiracy

Quick note about this post. It's not meant to be taken seriously. It's just an idea that popped in my head on my drive to work. I just want to make it clear that I don't actually believe it.

Unless you live in a hole or don't pay attention to sports (is there a difference?), you know Tiger Woods is going to make his return to golf at the Masters this year. He hasn't played since he got in a car accident and the world learned of his sleeping around.

Something smells fishy.

Perhaps the PGA and Tiger thought with the country still deep in recession, they needed something to guarantee viewers would stay with golf, allowing them to keep big sponsors and big payouts. They were coming off a year where Tiger didn't win a major, and actually blew a lead on Sunday. Maybe they were worried ratings would drop.

Nothing a little controversy can't fix.

It's your classic pro wrestling heel turn. We're talking the biggest heel turn in history, overtaking when Hulk Hogan turned his back on all the Hulkamaniacs of the world by joining the NWO and dropping the leg on Macho Man.

Tiger had gone as far as he could as the good guy. He won the US Open with a torn ACL. There was no outdoing that. So what does he do? He betrays his wife, shames the game of golf and disgusts millions of former fans within a few weeks.

In doing this he sets us up for the Masters, where the media is kept on a short leash and fans that act out just a little bit are thrown out. Not only this, but it's also the most prestigious golf tournament of the year. Ratings will be huge. Those who still support Tiger and just love good golf will watch, and those who always cheered against Tiger will turn out in record numbers.

Could the PGA ask for more? Could Tiger? He is going to be the center of attention of the sports world for four days. If he is in contention come Sunday, we're looking at ratings that could shatter golf records.

Golf may have sacrificed a few months and a little bit of it's integrity, but in the end this Tiger controversy will bring more ratings, more sponsors and more money.

What a diabolical, yet brilliant, plan.

Temple of the Dog - Hunger Strike


  1. I want to see Tiger hit Phil in the head with a steel chair.

    Also, South Park just had their season premier tonight and the topic was sex addiction. Thought I'd throw it out there since their theory was even more ridiculous.

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