Week 5 picks

So I had some hits and misses last week and now I'm back for more! Just like last week, I'm not going to bother analyzing, if you can call it that, the St. Louis Rams, Cleveland Browns or Tampa Bay Buccaneers games. I'm sticking by my statement that those three teams will not win a game this season. Before I do the picks, we'll review last week.

Record: 10-4

Biggest hit: New Orleans Saints over New York Jets - Not to toot my own horn, but I touted the Saints secondary and predicted them making Jets rookie Mark Sanchez look bad. Feel free to bask in my brilliance.

Biggest miss: Tennessee Titans over Jacksonville Jaguars - All of you who were basking in my brilliance are now feeling uncomfortable and gross in my stink. Not only did the Jags win, but they crushed the Titans. It was 30-3 at one point.

On with the picks!

• Pittsburgh Steelers 33, Detroit Lions 10: Change this to a shutout if Lions QB Matthew Stafford doesn't play. The Steelers' offense finally got rolling last week for 38 points against a mediocre San Diego Chargers team. Now they are playing a bad Lions team. The offense will continue to roll. For all of you fantasy people out there, start every Steeler you can!

• Dallas Cowboys 20, Kansas City Chiefs 10: The Chiefs are bad, we're talking two wins all season bad. But the Cowboys' offense has not been very good lately, so this game will be closer than most think. I'm expecting Dwayne Bowe to have his best game of the season and Tony Romo will keep struggling.

• New York Giants 38, Oakland Raiders 3: How is JaMarcus Russell still starting? The Raiders have no passing attack. The Giants could play only 10 guys on defense and still win this game. Even if Eli Manning misses this game, expect the Giants to score at will and Brandon Jacobs and Ahmad Bradshaw to torch the Raiders.

• Carolina Panthers 17, Washington Redskins 9: The Redskins squeaked by the Rams and Bucs and lost to the Lions. After reading that last sentence, how could you ever feel comfortable picking the Skins to win a game? The Panthers are not good this year. Jake Delhomme is confused as to what team he should pass to and ends up guessing wrong. But that doesn't matter this week. DeAngelo Williams is going to have a great game and keep the Redskins offense off the field. And as long as they are handing the ball off, that limits Delhomme's chances to shoot his team in the stomach.

• Baltimore Ravens 27, Cincinnati Bengals 17: What Bengals are going to show up? The ones that held the Steelers to 20 points, or the ones that gave up 20 points to Browns? I'm thinking it will be closer to their Browns performance. The Ravens will force a lot of three and outs and the Bengals' defense will get tired by the fourth quarter. On a personal note, I hate these teams as much as the New England Patriots. I guess what I'm trying to say is that I wouldn't be sad if the stadium crumbled to the ground on top of both teams.

• Atlanta Falcons 24, San Francisco 49ers 10: This would be a different story if Frank Gore was playing, but he isn't. The 49ers' offense is not producing that much despite their 3-1 record. Their defense is responsible for that record. I expect the Falcons to come off the bye week with a solid game plan that gets Michael Turner back to his 2008 form.
  

• Jacksonville Jaguars 28, Seattle Seahawks 14: I have to admit, I unjustly hated on the Jags. They have only play one bad game, Week 2 against Arizona, and I went and portrayed them as a mediocre team. Then they go and outgun the HoustonTexans and destroy the Tennessee Titans. David Garrard finally has a playmaker at receiver in Mike Sims-Walker and that is opening up the running game for Maurice Jones Drew. I now like the Jags to take the second Wild Card spot. This could change in a week. Bump up the Seahawks to 24 if Matt Hasselbeck plays.
  

• Arizona Cardinals 41, Houston Texans 24: Rotoworld.com says that Warner practiced at 100 percent during the team's bye week and he could start throwing downfield more. In the Cardinals' first four games, Warner was relying on dump passes. I expect him and Larry "No Last Name Needed" Fitzgerald to hook up early and often. Matt Schaub and Andre Johnson will keep pace for about a half before Schaub tries forcing throws that result in a few turnovers.
  

• New England Patriots 35, Denver Broncos 14: The game doesn't matter because all eyes will be on the handshake between Bill Belichick and Josh McDaniels after the game. Will it be the cold, quick handshake Belichick gave to Eric Mangini the first time, or will it be the beautiful man hug he gave to Mangini after the second game. You know, the one wear Bill body checked a photographer out of the way to get to his former assistant. It was so powerful, it inspired Annie Proulx to write Brokeback Mountain back in 1997. That's right, their bromance fought through the space and time continuum. Will McDaniels and Belichick inspire a sequel? We'll see.

• Indianapolis Colts 28, Tennessee Titans 13: This is the week the Titans go back to Vince Young. Of course this will be after Peyton Manning lights up the Titans for 200 yards and two touchdowns in the first half. How the heck did the Titans go from 14-2 last year to 0-4, soon to be 0-5, this year?

• New York Jets 17, Miami Dolphins 6: Braylon Edwards will make his debut for the Jets and get all of two catches. I like the move for the Jets, but not for this year. It will take time for he and Mark Sanchez to click. But I still don't think the Dolphins are a very good team. Shut down Ronnie Brown, shut down the Fins. And the Jets can shut down the run.