NBA Western Conference preview

By Jeff

I don't care about the NBA. I don't really know much about the NBA other than the Miami Heat are supposed to be good and the Cleveland Cavs are going to be terrible without LeBron James.

So why am I doing a Western Conference preview? Because Kelson only did an Eastern Conference preview and I don't want my blog being accused of East Coast bias. I'm going to rank the team from best to worst. Don't take the rankings too seriously.

1. Oklahoma City Thunder: It pains me to give them this rank. Not because I don't like their players. Kevin Durant, Russell Westbrook and Jeff Green are fun to watch, when I actually watch basketball. The problem with the Thunder is their name. I hate it when elements or natural disasters are used as team names. It's even worse when the team name doesn't end in "s". Despite having a terrible name, this is the year the Thunder make a big leap and win 60+ games. You know what? Let's be bold. They are going to win 70 games. Count it!

The look Adam Morrison tried
for, and failed to pull off.

2. Los Angeles Lakers: Kobe Bryant and Pau Gasol are a good duo, Ron Artest is crazy and Derek Fisher is a savvy vet (AKA old). Put that together and you have a solid team that is missing one thing. Adam Morrison. Everyone laughed when the Charlotte Bobcats took him with the third overall pick, but clearly they gave up on him too early. Morrison has two rings, while the Bobcats have yet to win a playoff series. I bet they're regretting that move. Idiots!

3. New Orleans Hornets: Has anyone else noticed how Chris Paul doesn't look that fast when he dribbling by opponents. It's almost like he just skips through the hole, and no one can stop him. It's weird, or maybe I need to finally invest in an HD TV.

4. Portland Trailblazers: Seemed like the right place for them. Over/under 20 games played for Greg Oden this season?

MVP! MVP! MVP!

5. L.A. Clippers: I just read an article by Bill Simmons where he proclaimed Blake Griffin in the greatest player in the NBA. OK, maybe he didn't go that far, but he was really gushing over a guy who hasn't played a regular season game in the league yet. I have to admit, I was sold. He and Byron Davis, who is really crazy, but really good when he harnesses the insanity, will lead this team to the promised land of a first-round playoff loss.

6. Denver Nuggets: They move down to 12 if Carmelo Anthony is traded at some point during the season.

7. Dallas Mavericks: Find me an uglier man in the NBA than Jason Kidd. Good luck.

8. San Antonio Spurs: They might actually have to try for more than half the regular season this year. Doing so will leave them tired and hurt when the postseason rolls around. Did you know Tim Duncan has never committed a foul?

9. Phoenix Suns: Grant Hill used to be my favorite player in the NBA because he got the Quarter Pounder with Cheese meal at McDonald's and a Sprite as the drink. This was what I always ordered. When he stopped those commercials, I started mixing it up.

10. Utah Jazz: Deron Williams is awesome. He might be the best point guard in the league. Not sold on the rest of the team. Mostly because after Al Jefferson I can't name another player off the top of my head.

11. Sacramento Kings: The last time I knew more than one or two players on this team is when they were choking against the Lakers every year in the playoffs. Tyreke Evans sounds like he's doing well, but I honestly have not seen the Kings play in a few years.

How have they not been in a
 movie together yet?

12. Houston Rockets: They'd be higher, but I completely forgot about them until now. I could copy and paste them to a better position, but if I didn't think of them in the first place, would they really be that much higher? This preview is going downhill fast. I'm sorry.

13. Memphis Grizzlies: Even I knew drafting Hasheem Thabeet No. 2 overall was a mistake.

14. Golden State: I used to watch Stephan Curry light up Elon University when he played for Davidson. I thought he was good then, but that was against Elon. Now he's succeeding against NBA players, confirming that he actually is good.

15. Minnesota Timberwolves: Like the Kings, I couldn't tell you the last time I saw them play. From everything I read, it sounds like they are going to be really bad again.

I'm shocked if you made it this far, and I'm sorry if you clicked on this post and thought it would have any kind of insightful analysis. Blame Kelson.

Jimmy Eat World - Crush