College Sports: Why I Will Never Love You.

With bowl season in full swing and players from around the country battling it out in meaningless bowl games that really don't prove anything about the competitive balance of the game, I figured it was time to state why I don't like college sports. And no, it's not specifically regarding the ridiculous non playoff bowl system.

College sports, for me, are hard to follow because a) the players change every three years and b) because you are not watching the cream of crop. You are watching, as the NCAA itself tells you, players that wont go pro in their sport. Lucky me, I can watch future accountants and Target cashiers play in a bowl game against a team they have no rivalry against? Count me out.

Let's take this one at a time. With point a, you realize that you are just rooting for a uniform, that you hopefully enjoy the colors of. In basketball players normally stay for a max of 2 years and in football is has to be at least 3. How can you build any sort of rapport if you KNOW for a fact your favorite player will be leaving that soon. Obviously it's fun to root for your favorite school, because you might've gone there, but as someone who went to a non-sports college, it's tough to root for a jersey.

That bring us to point B. Let's use this analogy. Say you have the option to watch a series of huge blockbuster movies, where the actors are definitely overpaid, the script was probably written lazily and there is little-to-no storyline, BUT there is definite nudity, you are guaranteed to be entertained for 2 hours and there is definitely bound to be one 'holy shit, did that just happen' moment. Your other option is to watch another series of films produced by college students, who generally dont know what they are doing and dont have the equipment to correctly make a great film BUT you know that film will be made with passion, and thus ensuring you an honest, thought out movie. (although immediately after 80% of the people that made that movie will become accountants or some other profession. )

Generally, you would choose to watch the overhyped big budget film (and America already does, I'm looking at you Yogi Bear) over the low budget film (Winter's Bone). And if you are having to choose multiple times, you aren't even going to get a great indie film, most of the time you are going to sit through 90 minutes of drivel and quick cuts that are supposed to represent an edginess to the film (but really is the only "cool" cut their video editing software will do).

This is all coming from a film snob, who basks in saying he saw a movie before you did, and then once you've seen it, I stop liking it. I root for the indie film but I know 9 out of 10 of them suck. Just like 9 out of 10 NCAA basketball games (and 7 out of 10 football games) suck. If you have the option to watch Duke hold the ball for 35 seconds and then jack up a "white person 3" or watch Blake Griffin literally jump over other 6' 5" humans, you gotta pick human jumping. Am I right?

The quality is just simply better and the games are more entertaining, as they should be. Even the best college basketball teams only have 2-3 good NBA level players on them, this does not make for exciting sport. You wouldn't watch marketing manager directed movies, so dont watch financial specialists play college sports.

Owen - That Tattoo Isn't Funny Anymore