All-star game mock draft

By Jeff

Yup, I'm all out of ideas today. So I'm going to come up with a mock draft for Sunday's NHL all-star game. Eric Staal and Nicklas Lidstrom are the captains, with Ryan Kesler and Mike Green (Seriously?) serving as alternates for Staal and Patrick Kane and Martin St. Louis backing up Lidstrom.

The captains will flip a coin for the first pick. Staal won the coin toss in my mock draft. Detroit fans everywhere are already crying that it was a conspiracy against their team and captain.

There are also a few rules. Goalies must be selected within the first 10 rounds and all the defensemen need to be taken by the 15th round. Also, rookies will be split into two groups and the group that wins a coin toss will select which team they join. Lame rules, but I'll follow them

Team Staal: Staal will give in to Green's emo-whining and take Alex Ovechkin to reunite the Washington Capitals players. Defense doesn't matter and the team already has two centers, so the pick makes sense.

Team Lidstrom: They don't need any more wings, so Henrik Sedin is the pick here. I was going to go with Brad Richards, who is having an MVP-caliber season, but the Sweden connection is too strong.

Team Staal: As Henrik will be walking toward Lidstrom, his brother Daniel will follow him out of habit. That's when Staal will go all heel on the country of Sweden and pick Daniel. There will be a 10 minute delay as this is explained to the Sedin twins, who up until this point thought it was a league rule they couldn't be separated.

Team Lidstrom: Steven Stamkos will be taken. Too bad there will be no power plays in the game, so his effectiveness will be limited. I hope he gets a penalty shot and falls on his face again.

Team Staal: Team loyalty will lead Staal to taking Cam Ward here. Ward is very excited that Evgeni Malkin won't be playing, and therefore embarrassing the netminder on multiple occasions.

Team Lidstrom: It will pain Lidstrom to do so, but he's going to grab Jonathan Toews to reunite him with Kane. Insert stupid joke about a taxi driver being punched in the face here.

Team Staal: With Green begging him to take Dustin Byfuglien, Staal concedes. Even though no one blocks shots in the all-star game, Green wanted to make sure he didn't get hit by a Big Buff shot. Green is a wuss.

Team Lidstrom: Needing a goalie, Lidstrom will grab TIm Thomas, who is having a monster year for the Boston Bruins. He was tempted to take Marc-Andre Fleury, but then he had flashbacks of 2009 and all the emotional distress it caused him. Apparently, Lidstrom has woken up at 12:29 a.m. to someone screaming "Weeeee!" every night since the 09 Finals.

Team Staal: After realizing he is screwed because he has a bunch of Capitals on his team, Staal will abort all strategy and just draft his brother Marc.

Team Lidstrom: He'll probably take Duncan Keith as the draft quickly turns into pleasing everyone who wants to play with their teammates. Lame, but inevitable.

Seeing as this is getting very lame, I'm stopping. No one cares about all-star games, especially the NHL's.

I hope Fleury stuffs Ovechkin on multiple breakaways.

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